Hooray...(= the fasting month will start in less than 10 hrs..damn excited for it..ahaha....it will be a test for me to c if i can really take it..ahah..but i tink it shld be ok coz we have been doing it or i have been up to it for like 17 yrs..so no difference rite..ahah...n i wan take tis opportunity to ask for forgiveness from everyone if i did any mistakes or speak sum wrong stuffs...sorri...ok its like kind of funny to seek forgiveness coz its like every year i will do mistakes n then on tis ramadhan den i asked for forgiveness....i tink SORRY shld not be the hardest word to say for the 365 days a yr rite..ahaha...so make sorry a frequent word but not so much la..got limit..ahaha...

ok la..gtg now..tml will be having art class where tis artist salleh japar will be cumin in..cool huh..ahah..i hope to enjoy myself tml la..aahha...ok bb..tc guys..n to remind my frens n myself, we r left wid like 8 days to examz coz monday is another hols for us if we dun sit for mob...ok tata...asta lavista baby..(= ahha

hello...ahhaha..today was pretty happy..nth much happened but i still veri happy..my heart felt light as if it was floating in mid air...cool huh...its teachers day today...the performace was ok...not bad ah...apologised to mr saw if my words hurt him and if i gave him problems..he was damn touched when maria n i did tat...wished all Teachers a happy Teachers day..its ur day to relax n enjoy..ahah...

msg my secondary skol teacher and got to noe a veri happy n gd news tat she has a baby gal who is called esther...so happy se..she is now mother of 4e3 and also Esther...so happy for her..she is like the nicest n caring teacher i ever noe..love her a lot..n today i really miss secondary frens and skol...hmm...now we r all stuck wid our own tasks and may not have time to meet up..but at least we did say hi on msn..tats pretty gd la...i wan my 4E3 back se..ahahha...

ok den went back home, felt a little tired..watched tis hindi serial where the brides have to leave the house after marriage and they were crying wid their parents hugging n also crying..i was amazed by e indian culture coz gals have to leave home and open a new page of their journey book wid their spouses..quite sad to tink abt it..coz it cms tat parents raised gals up den after a certain age, they need to leave the house for another one..its onli for a few yrs tat we could spend time wid parents den bye bye to them..i guess many have to go thru it rite..ahah...

so when it was tat scene on tv, i laughed n told m mom" mummy, i noe u will cry when i leave coz i m like the life of the house..."den she replied me wid tis"wowow..i will not cry but i will chase u out la.." ala...den i replied her" ala mummy, dun lie la..i noe u will!! who will not cry when ur own blood leave the house..ahahahh" come on..i m sure parents will feel damn lost n sad la..but life has to go on rite..ahaha...funny la...but tis is reality..if onli i could change e rule..i can rite..i was random abt tis rite..but cool ah...

den last week my frens n i were toking abt how shall we get married or how the guy will proposed to u...i was tinking den told everyone abt my idea..the theme will be fairy tale..n everyone needs to wear a gown like sleeping beauty, bella or even cinderella..there will be ballroom and everyone will have an eye mask..it will be winnie the pooh specials..honey briyani, honey water, honey gravy..den a lot la..cool ah...ppl were laughin coz its like impossible..den i tink i shld let go of tat idea..

then abt e way the guy shld propose..perhaps..the venue shld be like a park..a beautiful park filled wid flowers..or the e stairway to heaven...he shld then have a trail that would lead me to him..den i shld be walking on the trail filled with flowers petals..den while walkin towards him, he shld be playing my favourite tune on the piano..den the weather shld be cool...den when he proposes, then there shld be fireworks in e sky..wwoowow...sabby has started dreaming se...siao la me..tis is juz A DREAM...a beautiful dream..ahahha...wowowo damn romantis..ahahha...or shld it be at the beach...where can hear the breeze of the wind the waves..cool ah...wowow..dream sumore..ahaha..

ok my promos is cuming up soon n yet i can still be bloggin abt my dream..wad se..sabby, concentrate man..u have not much time la..ahhaha...so i guess i gtg now..muz start mugging..jiayous guys..we can do it..(= i wan to get promoted n i wan all my frens too to get promoted..i need 07A6...ahha...love ya...

(rainbows taken by Grace)

hahahah...finally after sum time, i m back to blogging...the past few days were pretty dead for me...furthermore i was too lazy to update so i didnt blog la..tis is the 9th week for skol and next week will be the last week b4 we go for one week hols..and after e hols, will be the promotional exams..isnt tat fast?...

its like the beginning of the year juz started yesterday and now its august..time passed pretty fast widout us realising it..pretty cool coz nearer to hari raya n other hols but den promo is a little big scary for me..its like a bomb..ok i might be exaggerating abt tis..but ya..y is time passin so fast? its like we r runnin after it..n juz keep running...ahah..rush hour...ok i dun noe wads tat for but it reminded me of tis artwork that has bicycle keeps going on..its like moving..i guess from the artwork, it shows tat we really have not much time for ourselves coz most of the time we r chasing over smth..is tis true?...

on mon, teacher dropped a bomb on us as usual..but tis time, when he was nagging n being sarcastic, i was actually laughing. i dunnoe y but i tink i found his sarcasm hilarious..but den, i realised tat i shld not laugh la..nvm...tis laughing at silliest stuffs is already in my genes i guess..

nowadays getting pretty frustrated over stuffs..dunnoe y but i tink i m losing control on my anger management..i may look happy but den its different all inside..i guess recently i might have been a little sensitive and sarcastic to others..there seems to b a change in me..i tink its been like tat ever since jansher tok to me..he was like asking y m i so taking tings funny n being dumb, might have higher chance of being taken advantage la..bla bla. bla....lots of stuffs..n he also asked me y i m tryin to b sumone i m not...i m tryin to figure tat out..but i guess i m too slow to understand tis tings..

sumtimes i may make ppl laugh at my lamest n silliest jokes, but sumtimes i tink they might not be laughing at e jokes but they r laughin at me for being dumb..i dunnoe how i make tat judgement but its like tat...ihave been tryin not to be dumb or gullible, come up wid lamest stuffs but its not in my control to stop all tat..i have been like tat for so so bloody long..i m afraid tat ii might lose my own self for sumone i m not..

ok la..ppl, i m really sori if i m damn sarcastic at u guys but i really dun mean it...n abt excuses, i may have been making excuses abt not goin out or say tat i dun wan night study coz i wan pray n bla bla bla....but its pretty hard for me to pray in skol when i m dirty and i prefer breakin fast at home coz food has already been prepared..i dun wan waste food..ok tis might be another excuses la...den i have nth to say to defend myself..coz i cannot possibly change ur mind..but i m veri veri sorry coz i keep backing out most of the time..i noe tis has been happenin for many many times..perhaps i cannot bcum the person u wan me to bcum..sori...but i really like if u could understand my situation..ok tis might be another excuses..haiz...nvm den...

ok la..there are like so many stuffs i have written on top..so i will make a move now la..i m turning into a real different person soon...nites guys..sweet dreams...

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

Secondhand Serenade: Fall For You

Bad news for today: My granduncle juz passed away today! wad the hell la...tis is damn damn sad n frustrating..3 deaths in one month n a yr? i knew tat its all destined but y is it happenin so soon..can't tings juz go slower and let us or me digest one death slowly..granduncle's death is really not expected..he was talkin so much yesterday tat today....goodness...i m not overreactin... its onli within 2 weeks and 3 deaths..i can onli see darkness surroundin my family...tis is really veri veri irritating..i noe i shld not b sayin tis coz God is the one tat writes our fate but den...its like we have to bear to c death after death..is God really showin me tat He can also takes life and he can give life..?i really have no idea..

its rainin now.. rainin veri heavily..its as heavy as my heart is now...pretty upset wid circumstances....

all the tears i shed,
all the sorrow i feel,
all the anger i vent,
it does not make any difference in the end...
tears are juz falling.
i m feeling damn empty inside.

frustrated wid my own self..could not really accept the truth...

i like it in the rain,
no one can see i m crying,
all the pain is hidden when i m dying slowly inside,
i can blame the rain for the tears on my face,
maskin the pain and putting on a facade.

perhaps i m being unreasonable but mayb u r not in my shoes to understand wad i m feelin rite now..if my heart is a glass, i m sure it has broken into tiny bits tat i m losin sum of it due to tis sadness..no one is there to understand my plight, the way i m feelin now..tinkin of the past really really open up the wound inside...addin on it is the demise of my grandparents..is tis ever goona stop?

can i juz be entitled to one day of full happiness, without thinkin of tings tat make me unhappy, worried or anything..juz happiness....is tat too much to ask for?...

hmm....yesterday went back to skol after long weekend..saw frens n i really really missed talkin to them n crackin silliest stuffs wid them..went skol today..haiz..normal routine...got sum kind of hearing from mr ng abt wr...felt quite sad(a little)..hmm mayb a lot..i cannot deceived myself...i already sort of expected tis to happen coz we mayb be united but work really need to be done..so hopefully we will all juz Buck up la..hmm...

ever since grandma's demise, i have been tinkin abt death..its like how will u feel when u no longer there, no more to feel, basically nth to do man...wads death to u? perhaps ppl mayb tinkin i m damn crazy tinkin abt it..but its smth tat i sat down to tink..like who i gonna meet when i m there, in another world all alone..hmm...u mite tink i have no life tinkin abt it ya..ahah...but come on, u have to go thru it one day..so y not tink of it today?ahaha...like wad ms koh said.."Life Mirrors Death"..quite true la...ok enuf of tis..when ms koh told us to tink abt life n death, e ting tat struck me was Grandma..guess tears were juz there waitin to flow but i guess its no use to cry over sum stuffs tat have happened...juz look forward..but sumtimes u need to look back to realise ur mistakes n do not do it in e future..hmm...tc grandma...missed u a lot though...

hmm wad to blog..i m really short of words..i have nth to blog though...ok to sum ppl out there, pls stop playin wid my bloody feelings...stop usin words tat can really make me tink of e past tat i had been wantin to forget..u juz rub into the wound again...tis is stupid...really...i wonder y is tis happenin to me? ok enuf k...

to grace, i really have no idea of ur emotions today...but do tc k..juz be cheerful like wad u have been always...loveya...

to sabira, i guess u r pretty tired wid it but if u really Really need rest, den take a break(have a Kit Kat)..have sum breathin space...keepin quiet n cry will juz make u feel miserable..i really wan make u happy but i guess its not tat ez ya..lets have fun soon so u will forget(hopefully) ur sorrows n smile at my lamest jokes k..loveya too...

to others, i tink tat i have been a little harsh wid my words these days..sori ya..i dun mean it la..perhaps i m gettin too rowdy these days..juz shoot wadver in my head..sori once more..

tml will have marchin in Blazer n Cot shoes..can u imagin tat on friday..haha...i will look like spongebob..ahaha...hope tings will turn out well tml so we can go home early..(:

ok la..gtg now..tc guys..nites n sweet dreams..(: